Vampire Knight Randomness
by Wolf Vantas
Summary: just for fun, just some chapters of random vampire knight enjoy! warning: does contain spoliers of the anime so if you havent watched season 1 and 2 full and dont want spoliers I sugest not reading this...
1. Zero's Hair

Yuki: Morning Zero!

Zero: Meh…

Yuki: Rude! *hits zero*

Zero: Ow!

Yuki: *Noticed something*

Zero: Hm?

Yuki: *Looks at Zero's hair* hmmmmm?  
Zero: Oh no… not this…*face palm*

Yuki: Zero? ~ What colour is your hair?

Zero: Sliver or grey I don't know you tell me

Yuki: hmmm…Sliver and grey?

Zero: *Face desk* fuck my life…you're hopeless…

Yuki: hm? Did I guess wrong?

Zero: Why don't you bleach your hair to blonde because you're that stupid!

Yuki: Hmmmm

The next day,

Yuki: *blonde hair* hi Zero!

Zero: !?

Yuki: ?

Zero: not for real! *face desk X2*

Yuki: well you guess your hair colour!

Zero: *Looks at hair* …I don't know either….*face wall* ugh….

The end


	2. Twin problems

Maria: Ichiru! I need to tell you something!

Zero: ….

Maria: uh…Ichiru?

Zero: I'm…not…Ichiru…

Maria: C-Crap…it's hard to tell which is which

Zero: I don't even know which one I am!?

Maria: ….

Zero: There's Ichiru in the inside and me on the outside! Which one am I!? Inside outside!? Inside outside!? I give up! *sobs in emo corner*

Maria: Wow over reaction much?...


	3. Zero's problem

Zero: Where is my gun!? *looks around* I'm going to flip a table! Wait I will! *flips table*

Hanabusa: Knock knock!

Zero: Ugh…Who's there?

Hanabusa: Aw...quit being so boring *enters room and slams the door shut*

Zero: Uh….

Hanabusa: Hush now Kiryu…*Put's his thumb on Zero's lip*

Zero: Dude…are you gay?

Hanabusa: maybe…

Zero: No…wait…you want help for something don't you!

Hanabusa: Yes…I can't open something…

Zero: ? What…

Hanabusa: A bag of chips…

Zero: That's sad dude…

Hababusa: I know…

Zero: Have fun

Hanabusa: Wait what!?

Zero: *Boots Hanabusa in the ass*

Hanabusa: *Flies out the door *

Zero: *Slams door shut*

Hanabusa: sad face….

Next day,

Zero: *has his gun and is at an abandoned house*

Hanabusa: Zero…I can't get it open…

Zero: *Face palms and sighs*….

Hanabusa: *Steals Zero's gun and drops the chip bag and shots the bag but doesn't open* THIS BAG IS CURSED BY SATAN!

Zero: hey! *takes gun and sees only has one bullet left* just one bullet left are you kidding me!?

Hanabusa: ultimate sad face…

Zero: WILL YOU STOP THAT! *sees a level E vampire*

Hanabusa: *girly scream* shot it! Shot it!

Zero: Roll for luck… *shots but misses* critical fail…*falls on knees* I'm going to kill you! *Face floor*

Hanabsa: *moves back*

Zero: *has one bullet in his pocket* yes! *Stands up* take this! *aims gun but the front of the gun falls on the ground not allowing the gun to shot*

Hanabusa: *trying to open the bag*

Zero: …. *vampire coming closer*

Hanabusa: *bag pops open* oh shit! *smiles in joy*

Zero: oh fuck!


	4. Owned!

Zero: Kaname…you're not going to like this

Kaname: …What Kiryu?...

Zero: I got your girlfriend! *holding Yuki* suck it Kuran!  
Kaname:…She's also my sister I fucked….

Yuki:….

Zero: Truth hurts doesn't it Yuki. Good job sir fucks a lot I think you broke her

Yuki: …..

Kaname: you're going to hell now…

Zero: oh but I already am, so if anyone says "go to hell!" come right here! And these our hell mates!

Kaname: I will bite you…

Zero: I'm so scared! *is sarcastic*

Kaname:….*bites Zero's neck*

Zero: this hurts…A lot…*Drops Yuki*

Hanabusa: *runs into the scene and catches Yuki and picks her up*

Kaname: *Slowly walks up to Hanabusa and kicks him in the balls and slaps his face*

Zero: you fight like a bitch Kuran!

Hanabusa: *Drops Yuki*

Kanama: *grabs Yuki and walks away*

Next day,

Yuki: ….

Zero: did he fuck you again?

Yuki: *slowly nods*

Zero: *slowly walks to kaname*

A few minutes later,

Zero: what did you do to Yuki?

Kaname: a little this, a little that and a little of this…you know…the dirty deed…  
Zero: I'm so shocked!

Kaname: why?

Zero: Because I can't believe someone fuck you twice

Kaname: 3…

Zero: 0_0


	5. Valentine's Day Fail!

Zero: Alright it is Valentine's Day tomorrow, I need to give Yuki a card and a gift because I love her of course…wait why am I talking to myself!? Meh…*writes a card saying "by your secret admirer" at the end and gets flowers*

Later that night,

Zero: *Sneaking into Yuki's room and sees two cards from Kaname and the other was Hanabusa* those bastards…*puts gifts and card down on the pillow of her bed* heh heh heh suckers! *leaves room*

Tomorrow at class on Valentine's Day,

Yuki: Hey Zero

Zero: What?

Yuki: 2 people sent me cards and one sent me a card and flowers

Zero: Oh really?

Yuki: Yeah the cards were from Hanabusa and Kaname and the card and flowers were by an unknown person?

Zero: who would be the "unknown person"?

Yuki: Someone

Zero: Geez…like that's going to help…

Yuki: Well who do you think it is!?

Zero: Hmmm…..I have no idea?

Yuki: god damn it Zero…

Later that day,

Zero: *Sees a note saying "Meet me at the entrance to the night class dorms from your admirer"* …..*sighs* if it's Maria I'm going to flip a table at her…

A couple of minutes,

Zero: *waiting*…

Kaname: *Dressed/disguised as a girl?* hello Kiryu…

Zero: You're my admirer? *thinking: "wow she's sexy as fuck, who needs Yuki?"* so what's your name?

Kaname: *moves up to Zero and puts a rag of chloroform on his face* Kaname Kuran

Zero: MMPH!? *thinking: I WAS IN LOVE WITH KANAME!? WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!?"* mph…*sleeps*

Kaname: *retarded evil laugh XD* well that failed…damn this corset kills! *Drags him away*

Later,

Zero: *Wakes up* ugh…

Hanabusa: Morning bastard

Zero: Morning Bitch

Hanabusa: *glares*

Zero: I win

Hanabusa: No…Kaname does

Zero: *Looks around and sees himself tied to a chair same for Hanabusa* Ah fuck!

Kaname: shut it now

Zero: ohhhh im so scared *scarcasim* is it time for Hanabusa's bitch slap?

Hanabusa: ….

Kaname: …*walks up to Zero and slaps him*

Zero: ._.

Kaname: ;)

Zero: what do you want?

Kaname: Yuki will be mine! You two bitches will never get her!

Zero: really…this subject again?

Hanabusa: ….D,: alright…

Kaname: *unties Hanabusa and kicks him*

Hanabusa: *flying out the window* I believe I can fly~ *starts falling* I believe I can die~ ._.

Zero: who did you know!?

Kaname: I'm your professional stalker ;D

Zero: ….ok now I'm REALLY scared!

Kaname: you should be ;)

Zero: Fine you win!

Kaname: yay now bye bye! *unties Zero and kicks him*

Zero: *flying next to Hanabusa*

Hanabusa: Come fly with us~

Zero: come die with us~

Zero & Hanabusa: *bang!*

Later at night,

Yuki: I found out who it was!

Zero: who?

Yuki: Takuma!

Zero: *Facedesk* ugh…

THE END!

Zero: YEAH IT SHOULD BE!


	6. Vampire's can get sunburnt?

Zero: OW OW OW OW! SUNBURN! *whole body is burnt to a crisp*

Yuki: Vampire's get sunburn? I thought they sparkle?

Zero: VAMPIRE'S DON'T SPARKLE!

Yuki: uh…

Zero: I know you've been reading twilight! The secret is off!

Yuki: …

Zero: VAMPIRE'S DON'T SPARKLE UNLESS THEY ARE GAY AND A BITCH AT THE SAME TIME!

Edward: I find the offensive….*leaves situation*

Yuki: OMG Edward Cullan!

Zero: He's a disgrace to vampires…

Kaname: *comes in sparkling* bitch please…

Zero: WOAH SHIT! DA FUCK HAPPEN TO YOU!?

Kaname: *points to sun* ….

Zero:….Vampires….do…SPARKLE!? *sits in Tamaki corner* I wish I was never born…

Kaname: *slaps sunburn*

Zero: OW!

Kaname: *thumbs up* please review ;) and you get to have a kiss from me

Yuki: *reviews* WHERES MY KISS!?

Zero: Fangirls are viscous…

The end!


End file.
